sun kissed

6(2) sun kissed

the top of my hand has been kissed by the sun

the top of my hand is now brown

my palm white.

A seasonal feature, as in the long winter, I become white.

I am brown/ and I am white 

but I am not white

and I am not brown

I am status Indian

I am 6(2)

two brackets that harbour identity, doubt, sadness, and (in)validity

but two brackets that do not restrict love, culture, or spirit

when I was young I clung to spf 50 because I knew I would turn brown

and I knew what it meant to be brown

to be native

drunk

lazy

stupid

inferior

lesser than

so desperately wanting to be white - to be accepted.

When I was 24 I longed for the sun.

for my skin to be kissed by the sun.

To turn the brown of my ancestors

the brown of my spirit

the brown of acceptance

the brown of legitimacy

I am not white/ and I am not brown/

but everyday I am more grounded in the knowledge that I am Algonquin /white nor brown can take that away from me/

I have been kissed by the sun